Despite gaining a lot of things with my sobriety, especially with the physical changes in my body mainly due to exercise, I have lost my creativity and motivation. Whilst I was drinking, every night I would find time to work on my business, paint, sew and create things. However since I have stopped drinking, I feel like I am in a creative rut.
At my Monday AA meeting, I asked other members to share about their experiences with creativity because of my creative block. I had several people share that their lives had obviously improved since their sobriety, however their creativity did taper when they got sober. But then, they both made an interesting point, when they look back and reflect on their drunken creative pursuits, they realise that they weren’t actually that good.
After the meeting, I was approached by an AA Member who recommended I read the book The Artists Way by Julia Cameron. Apparently Julia was an alcoholic and wrote this book about regaining her creativity. This member also shared with me that I may be surprised about my life after alcohol. He said that it is not uncommon for people to not do things that they did when they were sober. If they didn’t do these things, then maybe that is not their path. He also advised me that a lot of people he knew have started doing creative things in a different way, such as business.
Over the past few days I’ve really reflected on his words, I feel like I am at such a pivotal point in my life. I am a full time stay at home mum, previously I had a big career in the Corporate Sector, but my passion for this profession does not exist. I don’t want to go back to work for someone else, but I am still very motivated and driven to succeed.
Whilst I love my children, I don’t want to look back and reflect that my children were the only thing I achieved in the middle part of my life, sure I want to raise good kids and have good memories, but I want more. I just don’t know what more is at this point in my life.
When I reflect back on my conversation with this member, I am starting to realise that I just need to focus on being present and taking each day at a time, something that I traditionally haven’t done very well.