Creativity of a Recovering Alcoholic

Creativity of a Recovering Alcoholic

I recently wrote about my lack of creativity as a recovering alcoholic, and since then I have had a few ‘events happen’ that seem to be somewhat helping and hindering me:

  1. I had a physical health diagnosis of Pulmonary Embolisms
  2. I read Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Big Magic

Whilst I’m not yet painting, thanks in fact to the 1st issue, I am starting to get back into my writing with a vengeance. You see, Elizabeth Gilbert is my idol, like thousands (probably millions) of women around the world, her book Eat, Pray, Love resonated with me. I never set out to have an Eat, Pray, Love experience, but like her my life pivoted when I turned 30 and I ended up fulfilling my burning desires to travel. Except unlike Liz, there was a little bit of a detour to find the ‘love’ part of my journey!

Liz’s book ‘Big Magic‘ is like the ultimate inspiration to just ‘get up and go’ it’s a self help book, but not in the corny condescending way of being a ‘self help book. I found this book whilst I was on holidays at the Sunshine Coast and immediately knew I wanted to buy it.

A few things, particularly with this blog, have changed my thought pattern around ‘why’ I am doing this blog. Liz makes an amazing point about aspiring writers, in that every time she hears someone say that ‘I want to write a book to help someone’ she just cringes. From the get go, that book is uninviting.

It’s made me reflect on why I’m blogging, I’m not blogging to ‘help’ anyone else, I’m writing purely to express myself, get my feelings out of my brain and body and to help myself get to know myself again. If my writings help someone than great, but that’s not the purpose of my writing.

As Big Magic says, too many people are afraid to even start being creative and that is a problem, be creative for you and if the universe intends for your creativity to spark a phenomenon, than that is your path. If it doesn’t, then so be it, do it for you, do it for your satisfaction, your release, your unwind, just don’t do it to make a fortune or get rich quick because on the balance of probability, that isn’t going to happen.

I’ve currently got a family member who has decided that she desperately wants to be a self-help guru and help women over the age of 40 achieve their inner worth, their financial freedom and a bright future. The problem is, this woman hasn’t achieved any of those things herself. Her intention is kind, but how the hell can she help people when she hasn’t got her own shit together. I would be more than happy to pay or subscribe to people I admire and idolise to provide me mentorship or coaching (or spend time listening to their podcasts when I have spare time). But these female entrepreneurs are those who have achieved phenomenal things. Mia Freedman is one example, that chick knows her stuff, Roxy Jacenko built an empire accidentally and Brene Brown spent decades researching fear, shame and vulnerability so is from all accounts, an inspiration and an authority in this area.

Little old me, is just trying to keep sober, come to grips with my current life and all the events that led to my life, I’m not perfect, and the more time I write the more I will disclose the events (the good, bad and ugly) that have formed part of my life. But ‘m doing this for me, it’s cathartic, it’s like therapy (without the cost) and it’s liberating.

I would love it if anyone out there was reading my blog, in fact I’m now actively NOT checking out my site stats because I don’t care if no-one has read this. I just want to be a better person for me, my husband and my children as well as document the current stage in my life. Because one day, I would love to have something tangible to pass down to my children and say ‘Look, this is your Mother, warts and all).

Not that I ever think that Elizabeth Gilbert would ever know I existed, but if she did, I want to say thank you to her for Big Magic, this book really has helped me in a time of need.

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