I’ve been extremely guarded about who I have told about my alcoholism, in fact other than my husband, no-one in our circles knows that I’m an alcoholic. One thing I am finding so incredibly frustrating, is that everywhere I go, alcohol is everywhere. It is in conversation, it is at the table, it is at dinner, it is at lunch, you cannot escape it. We are all rushing women and men.
The past few weeks I’ve been going to dinner with some mums from school, and every night the wine is flowing, I’ve been using the excuse that I’m on blood thinners as to why I’m not drinking, but that excuse will only last while I’m on the medication. I am overwhelmed with how much pressure and how much reliance we all, especially women, have on alcohol.
About 9 months ago a female colleague of mine introduced me to the concept of ‘Rushing Women Syndrome‘, basically this is where women are so busy and put so much pressure on ourselves that we start our days with caffeine because we need to get started, and we wind down with wine. This ‘syndrome’ in my opinion, is not just synonymous with women, it’s with men as well.
There is so much societal pressure on us to have it all, we are so busy, we have pressure to succeed in everything we do, to achieve and deliver in every way possible, to be perfect wives, husbands, mothers and fathers and it is unatainable.
In fact, every day I ask a few Mums at school with 3 or more kids ‘how do you do it’ because I’m drowning with just two children. Their response is the same, coffee and wine, it’s bullshit. How is it, that we socially have such a reliance on liquor to get through the day? Are these men and women alcoholics, or are they normal drinkers who just enjoy a drink to wind down?
I always felt that I needed wine to wind down, and for a long time I did, and I had it, but I could never just have one or two glasses, I needed a bottle. The longer I am sober, the more I am realising that we are our own worst enemies when it comes to alcohol, it is so normalised, so accepted and so encouraged that there is no way to escape it. I want to be honest with people around me and tell them I’m an alcoholic because I’m sure I’m not the only one, but I am so afraid of being judged.
It is crazy, that such a dangerous ‘drug’ like alcohol is so normalised and accepted in our community, I wish it wasn’t because it just puts temptation in front of me every single day.